adopted children dealing with divorce

Adopted Children Might Need Extra Support During an Alabama Divorce

When couples choose adoption to grow their family, it brings incredible joy to their lives. In relation to this, if at some point in time, the parents of an adopted child decide to split, it can create a complicated situation. Children always suffer regardless of the parents’ sincere efforts to try and shield them during a divorce.

Things are often worse for adopted children because they may feel it was somehow their fault that their parents ended up with a divorce. You may want to consider working with an experienced Alabama family law attorney to ensure that your child’s best interests are kept at the forefront during the divorce.

Adopted Children are More Vulnerable During a Divorce

Most adoptees have already experienced significant trauma and loss. In fact, many may have faced trauma in their early lives. They may continue to sense the absence of their biological parents after being placed as a tragic loss.

Feeling of loss of consistency and security may overwhelm an adoptive child during a divorce. They may think of it as another loss. The child may never have had a secure family structure before. And, now they may look at the divorce as another loss and blow to them.

The concept of family in their heads will get redefined during this process. The “family” now spans two distinct parents and households. You and your ex-spouse may have distinct parenting styles which the adopted child will not have to deal with. They may not know where they belong in the new family structure and how they fit.

Helping an Adopted Child Cope with Alabama Divorce

You should recommit yourselves to the well-being and health of your child. It can be difficult to maintain a ‘child first’ policy. In relation to this, you should constantly remind yourself of what truly matters in the entire process. Your child requires stability more than ever now. You should attempt at maintaining the same rules, boundaries, and daily rituals.

You may want to let the rules slip and loosen up by being the ‘fun parent.’ This will just harm your child’s psyche in the long run. Resist such urges so that your child can depend on a strong and stable foundation. Further, don’t frame the divorce in your mind as a struggle, competition, or conflict. This type of thinking may become apparent in your actions and affect your children.

You need to remember that your child looks up to you as a role model. You are an important teacher in their lives. Your actions are going to teach them how to deal with adversity and grief in the long run. Show them healthy reactions to anger and sadness. It is possible for your child to blame themselves for the divorce. This misguided reality may affect adopted children more.

You need to reassure your child that the divorce is not their fault and your choice. Don’t forget the core reasons for divorcing your partner. Remember that divorce is probably the best choice for everyone in the long-term. At the same time, remain committed to your adopted child’s wellbeing and make the right choices for them.

Parental Rights for Adopted Children Following a Divorce

The law doesn’t differentiate between adopted and biological children. Your child is legally yours when you adopt them. This is in the same manner if the child was born to you. Hence, you have the same legal responsibilities and duties towards an adopted child that you would have for a biological one. This doesn’t change when you and your spouse decide to divorce.

You are both considered equal parents to the child during the divorce process with equal rights in terms of custody negotiations. However, there is an exception that may apply to a few unique cases.

In certain situations, the birth mother may want her child to be raised in a two-parent home. This may be a problem if you and your partner were aware of the impending divorce during the adoption process.

The birth mother may lay claim to the child that you got her consent under false pretenses. There are no fast answers since this is not a cut-and-dry area.

Treating Adopted Children During a Divorce

Adopted children should be treated the same way as biological children. You should not do anything that makes your adopted child feel unwanted or unloved, especially during custody matters. Certain special considerations should be thought over during such divorces. Adopted children require extra love and support to help them get through the process.

This may be particularly necessary if the child is old enough to remember the time spent in the adoption home or foster care. The law requires divorcing parents to come up with a child custody agreement in the same manner as with biological children. You should include education, visitation, and medical care among other aspects.

Consult with a Seasoned Divorce Attorney in Alabama

A divorce is a traumatic event for everyone in the family. Adopted children, in particular, face a number of challenges that are unique to their situation. Having a dedicated legal team from the Smith Law Firm on your side can minimize the stress, help you prepare for the future, and lead to a favorable outcome in your divorce.

To request your free and confidential consultation with our experienced divorce lawyers, call us at 334-377-1674 or write to us online.